Embracing the Sabbath: Practical Steps to Overcoming Burnout & Finding True Rest

Matthew Hernandez (00:00):
The table is I call a thin space. First time I ever heard that I was actually in Ireland, and the pastor that I was with took us to this area and he said, we call this the thin space where the supernatural meets the natural. The table is that for me, it’s where I encounter God the most. I feel like God meets me at the table and I look at scripture and how God has a disability of showing up at tables. Jesus when he’s with the disciples and he says, the next time you do this, do this in remembrance of me. That word remembrance can also be interchanged for awareness. And so it’s like every time you gather at the table, be aware of my presence, be aware of what I’m doing, and we are so aware of God’s, his presence and what he’s doing in our life when we’re at our Sabbath table.

David Blease (00:52):
Alright, you brought your Bible. It’s going to be exciting. I just like having it. I love that you have it. I feel like an idiot when I’m like, lemme look at my phone. I’m going to Google that real quick. Well, welcome to the Center for Israel. No, that’s not the name of the podcast, the Covenant and Conflict podcast by the Center for Israel. We have an amazing guest today, Matthew Hernandez. I’m so glad you’re here.

Matthew Hernandez (01:19):
I’m pumped to be here, man.

David Blease (01:20):
Well, Matthew is a pastor on staff at Gateway with us. We’ve been in the same rooms for years. We were both youth pastors together, so we have a long history and you also lead trips to Israel with Gateway, and I’d just love for people to get to know you. So tell us a little about

Matthew Hernandez (01:37):
Yourself. Yeah. First of all, this is a dream that we just get to sit down with microphones and have a conversation. Yeah. That’s the only difference. Usually the microphones are not here, which is probably better for me, but this is on record.

David Blease (01:49):
Better for our online

Matthew Hernandez (01:51):
Reputation. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I’ve been on staff here at Gateway now, this will be 11 years for me, which is wild.

David Blease (01:58):
That’s great.

Matthew Hernandez (01:59):
So started in student ministry where we got a chance to work together and it’s been fun to see kind of how our paths have taken us and where we’re at now, and so again, to work alongside each other. So it’s been great.

David Blease (02:10):
Tell us a little bit about your family. You’re married, you have three kids.

Matthew Hernandez (02:15):
Yeah. So me and Brittany have been married now going on, is this going on 17 years? Come on. I think we’re going on 17 years. January will be 17 years. We just celebrated 16.

David Blease (02:26):
That’s beautiful.

Matthew Hernandez (02:26):
Yeah, and we’ve got three kids, Parker, who is 14. Sloan, who just turned 12 a couple of days ago. That’s crazy. And Roman is nine years old. That’s crazy. It’s unreal. Yeah. That’s so cool. But it’s good for me to mark because my daughter’s 14, she’ll be 15 this year. We moved here right before she was born, so we moved from California. So I can say I’ve been in Texas now almost 15 years. Nice. So that’s a good marker for me when it comes to,

David Blease (02:52):
And you were in LA before, so that’s

Matthew Hernandez (02:55):
A big

David Blease (02:55):
Switch.

Matthew Hernandez (02:56):
It was, but I grew up in a small town in California, so I went from a small town that had one stoplight. Then I moved to Los Angeles when I was 18. So when I came to Texas, it wasn’t that big of a culture shock for me. That’s good. Because I grew up in a really small town. This is actually where I live is bigger than the town I grew up in.

David Blease (03:14):
Wow.

Matthew Hernandez (03:15):
But yeah, started doing ministry out in Los Angeles and then before moving here, so I’ve been in ministry now full-time ministry for over 20 years and then have been a pastor for almost 15 years. That’s so good.

David Blease (03:28):
Yeah. I know we didn’t really talk about where we’re going to go, but I just had this thought. I remember you talking about when you wanted to quit ministry, and I’d love for you to talk for a moment. We have…

Matthew Hernandez (03:40):
Which time?

David Blease (03:42):
That’s a good question. Maybe the first time, because we’re both in ministry and even as I’m thinking about this podcast and things that we do, it can be, it can be a weight, it can cause controversy. You can just ask for what? So I’d love for you to share when you wanted to stop or just pump the brakes and maybe do something else. And what inspired you to keep on going?

Matthew Hernandez (04:12):
Yeah, that’s a great question. I think it was burnout, why I wanted to quit. Like I said, I have been in ministry now for over 20 years, and I’ve seen a lot and I’ve seen a lot behind the curtain. And there were just some things that I didn’t love and it grieved me not at the church that I’m currently working at, although there’s pros and cons to every place that you’re at. Also, I was really young and I think really naive and idealistic, and I forget that you were working with imperfect people. And when the humanity starts to show and you see people’s humanity or maybe even just kind of their sin nature or whatever it may be, just we’re dealing with imperfect people. And I also was running a really, really fast and hard race. And so I got really burnt out. And I think just when my soul was depleted, I was like, I think I’m done with all of this. And I have a mutual friend who is a pastor in California. And so I flew out to go spend some time with him and eat fish tacos on the beach and just have really good conversation. And it was actually then that he started to introduce me to an idea of Sabbath. He started talking about you need a Sabbath and what does Sabbath look like for you? And I just thought growing up like, well, I go to church on Sundays, that’s Sabbath, isn’t that? That’s keeping the Lord’s Day holy. And I was first introduced to it that way, but really it was a little bit of a break in California that I think I was able to shift my perspective of realizing, Hey, we’re dealing with imperfect people. And at the end of the day, I could quit ministry tomorrow, and yet my heart would still yearn for it. This is, I honestly feel like what I’m called to do. It was four days in Laguna Beach that I got revived and shifted my perspective a little bit so.

David Blease (06:09):
Well, what a great segue into what we’re talking about Savage. I didn’t even know. Thank you. Holy Spirit. Yeah. When someone follows you on Instagram, you might post a story about Sabbath or you might use the word Shabbat. I don’t know. Sometimes I use ‘em interchangeably. I like to mix it up a little bit, a little bit.

Matthew Hernandez (06:27):
I like to keep it interesting.

David Blease (06:29):
But someone might look at your Instagram story and see that you have candles or you have challah or again, I don’t know, not that I Instagram stalked you before this, but I imagine that some people might have commented on your post, why are you doing this? Is this Jewish? Are you Jewish? Questions? We get all the time. Gentile, by the way.

Matthew Hernandez (06:49):
Yeah.

David Blease (06:49):
Happy Gentile over here.

Matthew Hernandez (06:50):
Happy.

David Blease (06:51):
But so I’d love for you to kind of take a step back and maybe it started in Laguna Beach, like you said, when did the idea of Sabbath come into your weekly rhythm? How has it evolved over the years and what does that look like for you as a gentile? Now, I’m assuming part of your journey is you took trips to Israel and you’ve gotten further along as we all have at Gateway in this understanding of Jew Gentile. So I’d love for you to take us back. When did the Sabbath really start impacting your life and what was that journey looking like?

Matthew Hernandez (07:28):
Yeah, so I mean there’s so many different, I think ways could take it. I could talk about burnout. I could talk about how my soul was depleted. I could talk about this idea of me wanting to prove my worth by how hard I worked. And I could talk about, I don’t want to say almost losing my marriage, but if I would’ve kept going the pace that I was going, I think I would’ve lost my marriage and this need that I need something, I need some sort of rest or Sabbath, but not knowing how to put language to it. Like I said, when I was first introduced to that idea of, Hey, you need a Sabbath, I thought it was just like, yeah, I need to be engaged on Sundays. I still didn’t really fully know what that meant, but in 2015, I got invited on a trip to Israel. It wasn’t affiliated with the church that I worked with or that I was a part of. It was this outside group that was paying for just, it was all expense paid for young leaders to go and experience Israel. And so I said yes. And then…

David Blease (08:27):
Easy, yes.

Matthew Hernandez (08:28):
It was an easy yes, because it was free.

David Blease (08:30):
Yeah, totally.

Matthew Hernandez (08:30):
And there was no investment that I had to give. And a week before the trip, I had a conversation with Britt and I said, I don’t want to go. And she was like, what do you mean? I didn’t grow up in a house with, we didn’t have a whole lot of money, so travel wasn’t a thing, wasn’t a luxury for us. We didn’t get to do that.

(08:48):
So I didn’t have this travel itch. So I’m thinking, I don’t want to be in a plane for that long. I don’t know what the food’s going to be like. All of my comforts are going to be stripped away. I didn’t know if I was going to be safe. All of these things that were kind of going through my mind. And Britt’s grandparents were pastors for over 30 years, and they used to lead trips to Israel and they told Brit when she turned 15 that they would take her to Israel. Well, because of life circumstance and some different things. They actually stopped leading trips when she turned 13.

(09:20):
So as a young girl, she had always wanted to go to Israel, was in love with this idea of one day I’ll get to go. So she just said one day we were at the dinner table and she said, please go on for me. I want to live through you. Please go. And I said, yes. I was also struggling with a lot of anxiety during that time. We had two kids. Roman wasn’t born yet. She was pregnant with Roman. And so I was like, okay, I guess I’ll go. And just reluctantly was going well on my itinerary on this trip there was just, you’re going to do the traditional pilgrimage tour in Israel and on it on that Friday was to go to a family’s home and experience a Sabbath. It said Shabbat and a family’s home in Jerusalem. And so I kind of crossed it out and I put dinner with strangers. I was like, one I didn’t know…

David Blease (10:14):
Let’s be real about what this is.

Matthew Hernandez (10:15):
For sure. Yeah. I’m like, I didn’t know what was going to happen or what to experience this trip. There’s 25 people on this trip. I only knew one other person. So I’m like, okay, I’m going on a trip. I don’t know a whole lot of people. Then I’m going to go into a family’s home that I don’t know and be forced into conversation. I wasn’t looking forward to it. And it was towards the end of our trip. We started the trip in Tel Aviv and we ended in Jerusalem. And I remember going to the western wall and watching just the celebration that was taking place. There was the dancing and the singing as people are getting ready for Shabbat. And then we walked the home was walking distance from the western wall. So we walk into this small home and it was super quaint and small. I thought, how are we going to fit 25 people inside of this living space and this area for all of us? And we were really crammed in there. And yet the moment I walked into this home, I already felt at rest. I mean, it is my first tour that I’ve done, but it’s go, go, go. It is early mornings and I mean you have no free time.

David Blease (11:24):
Israel’s bucket list trips, so you’re like, I got to hit every spot, spot…

Matthew Hernandez (11:26):
Every single thing. You don’t even have time to process.

David Blease (11:28):
Did Jesus sneeze here? I got to see it.

Matthew Hernandez (11:31):
Yeah, I want to touch the dirt and all the things. But immediately I just felt at rest, the craziness of the day, all the different places my mind was going and how my mind was racing immediately there was a sense of calm when I walked into this home. And so I try to find my place at the table. I take out my phone because again, bucket list trip, I want to capture everything. And it was so sweet. The woman of the home, she just gave me a polite little slap on the wrist and said, at Shabbat, we want to be technology free, and so I’m going to ask that you capture this moment and your heart’s not on your phone. Oh, I’m the only one with my phone out. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool. She’s talking to me.

David Blease (12:15):
Oh no.

Matthew Hernandez (12:16):
But honestly, it was in that moment that I thought this night’s going to be different. And it was a night that marked me. I remember walking to my hotel room after it was all over and the city’s at rest. And so things are quiet. And so we’re walking to our hotel room. I’m with my friend Ross and my friend Annie, and we started talking about what we experienced, and I think I said the phrase, it’s too bad we could never experience something like that in the States. This was a trip, that was in September, October, I read a book called Garden City by John Mark Comer. And November we started practicing Sabbath, that book Garden City, I think the subtitle is Work Rest in the Art of Being Human. So he’s a pastor in Portland and he talks about how his family experienced Sabbath and I thought, oh, this is available to me. I could do this. Meanwhile, the church I’m a part of Sabbath is a value of the church that I’m a part of. And I realized just because it’s a value to the church doesn’t mean it’s a value to me.

David Blease (13:15):
Totally.

Matthew Hernandez (13:15):
And so it became a value to me because of what I experienced there, so…

David Blease (13:19):
Because we’re all going to have our own interpretation, like you said, Sabbath means I go to church and check.

Matthew Hernandez (13:24):
Yeah, done. I experienced Sabbath. So me and Ross and Annie, we Red Garden City in October, and then I had a family meeting and was like, we are about to embark on Sabbath as a family. We’re going to change, we’re going to change everything. And we’ve been doing Sabbath ever since. So since 2015.

David Blease (13:45):
So walk us through, because again, Sabbath is different for Gentiles and the Jewish community in the sense that Sabbath is a command given to the Israelites as a solemn holy day. It’s in the 10 Commandments. There’s been Jewish tradition put on top of that. So you have the challah bread that’s not mentioned—the scripture’s not like God doesn’t say make challah bread and braid it.

Matthew Hernandez (14:18):
But it’s so good.

David Blease (14:19):
It’s so good though. The lighting, the candles, the stars and the Sabbath. Some of these are traditional Jewish, I guess just Jewish traditions that have been added later. So there’s also this freedom that Gentiles have that goes back to Genesis. We’re not called to keep the Sabbath in the same way. Israelites are maybe is what some people would say. Some would say that we are, but regardless, I’d love to hear what does your Sabbath look like?

Matthew Hernandez (14:50):
Yeah, that’s great.

David Blease (14:51):
Now and maybe how did that progress over the years?

Matthew Hernandez (14:54):
Yeah, it’s so funny because I think a lot of people would say, well, Sabbath, it’s a 10 commandment thing or it’s an old covenant thing or whatever it may be. And I go back to Sabbath is a Genesis thing. When God created the world, he rested on the seventh day. I don’t think God rested because he was tired. I think God arrested because he was modeling for us how to be human. And then he reintroduces this in the 10 Commandments to reintroduce this to the Israelites of, Hey, you’ve been slaves and you have worked seven days a week, 24 hours a day. You know what I mean? It’s been 24 7 for you. I want to remind you, take one day and rest. It’s a reminder to be a human being and not a human doing. Because that’s what they were. Their worth came from what they could produce. And God’s saying, Hey, I want you to take one day a week. It’s a reminder that he has God and I’m not that God’s in control. So yeah, walking through our Sabbath is we spend pretty much all week preparing for Friday. It’s not just a Friday of like, we got to do everything we can to get ready. We try to do little things throughout the week to prepare us for that day. We want to be intentional about it because Sabbath doesn’t just happen. You know what I mean? You’ve got to make it happen. So Friday spent doing, it’s my day off. And so I’m spending a little bit of last minute things while the kids are in school, whether it’s cleaning the house or picking up, finishing maybe some emails that I need to take care of. And then typically, if Brittany is home and she has time, she’s going to make challah bread, not because of just tradition. We have to do this because we experienced it and it’s really good. And so she’s going to double honey that bread and it so sweet and so good. But yeah, it’s spending the last few minutes just getting ready for that day because the next day we want to, we want an inner rest. We don’t want to be on technology, on our phones, on our screens, all that stuff. So we’re trying to be intentional leading up to that.

David Blease (16:55):
I love what you said about you have to be intentional about the Sabbath coming up. Something that I’ve counseled people for years about Sabbath and not even the Jewish principles of it, but just the biblical principle of it. And I constantly find myself saying, no, no, no, you can’t retroactively have a Sabbath. People would be like, I think, I think I Sabbath.

Matthew Hernandez (17:19):
Yeah, right.

David Blease (17:20):
Okay, so this week when was your Sabbath? And they’re like, I guess Friday would’ve been my Sabbath. I’m like, no, no, no, no. You can’t retroactively have one because you didn’t know when you woke up or that evening when the sun went down, you didn’t know. I am now in my Sabbath mode. I am shut off from technology. I’m shut off from emails. I’m shut off from work.

Matthew Hernandez (17:41):
I mean you know this, David, just because you’re not only intentional with your Sabbath, but I’ve also watched your relationship and how you’re with your family. And I think McKayla would be livid if she’s like, David, we need a date night. And you’re like, no, no. We watched that show on the couch two days ago. That was date night. Right? Remember? And so I think the way you’re intentional with your relationships and with your spouse, I’m going to plan a date night. I couldn’t imagine. You get in the car for a date night and McKayla’s like, where are we going? You’re like, well, I don’t know. You plan it out and you’re intentional because you want to get the most out of that day and that date. So same thing with Sabbath. I want to plan it. I want to be intentional. I want the most out of that day.

David Blease (18:22):
This is where the word religious and sometimes in Christian circles gets a bad rap. And in Jewish circles it doesn’t because Jesus was religious—very religious, He kept the entire Torah, all the commands. And we have this idea in the Christian faith because we’re known under the law, we’re under grace. And so we kind of get this evan-jellyfish, loosey goosey-ness.

Matthew Hernandez (18:46):
I love that phrase. Yeah.

David Blease (18:47):
Love it too. And so we can look at religion as a box as a burden. And I use that same analogy when I talk about having time with the Lord every day, because I’ll go to churches or youth ministries and we’ll talk about every day. I’ll wake up at this time and I’ll spend this amount of time doing my Bible reading and praying and worshiping, and I can already hear you. Well, I don’t want to be legalistic. And I’ll say, if I told my wife Friday, 6:00 PM date night, and we’re going to your favorite restaurant and she’s going to be a little religious over here.

Matthew Hernandez (19:26):
Right?

David Blease (19:27):
No, because it’s intimacy. It’s not legalistic. If what I’m doing is providing intimacy or rest, which is what God wants. So it’s a way that Christians often have to rewire their brain because it can feel like, well, I don’t want to do all that. I don’t want to have a legalistic Sabbath. And it’s like, you don’t.

Matthew Hernandez (19:48):
It’s what we try to say in our home, we don’t have rules, we have values. That’s good. So Sabbath isn’t a rule. It’s a value for our life. And so rest isn’t a rule, it’s a value. So because I think you phrase it differently, it changed your perspective. Because we value rest, we value Sabbath. And so it’s not a rule becomes legalism to us, but if it’s value, you value your wife, you value your date night. It’s not a rule. And I think you approach it differently. And so even your heart posture changes that way.

David Blease (20:17):
An interesting little rabbit trail on that. It is interesting. I’ve thought before, why did God use the negative commands for the 10 commandments? Do not kill or do not murder. Do not commit adultery. He could have used the positive command, right?

Matthew Hernandez (20:36):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

David Blease (20:37):
Value life. Be faithful to your spouse. And I think it’s because he knows that we will take an inch and therefore then a mile. And everyone’s interpretation of what being a faithful husband looks different for everybody. Being a faithful husband will look different. I’m still being faithful to her. I’m just also doing X, Y, Z. So it’s almost like he had to speak to us in negative commands to give us a line, because when something is truly important, like life and death, I don’t tell my kids, just be careful when you’re playing outside, do not cross the street. Why? Because that’s life and death.

Matthew Hernandez (21:24):
God, I have never looked at it that way.

David Blease (21:27):
Yeah,

Matthew Hernandez (21:27):
I’ve never looked at it that way. That’s great.

David Blease (21:29):
And so I think it’s, again, not to say he is not also bringing value to something because he is, he’s saying value life. He’s saying be faithful to your spouse, but he’s putting this line in the sand to protect us, which every parent knows. Yeah, you have to do that. I can’t say be good sharers. And that’s the only parenting lesson I give is be good sharers. I have to say, you can’t take your sister’s toy and then hit her or whatever. There has to be certain lines.

Matthew Hernandez (21:59):
I mean, the line is the boundary and the boundary is love. You know what I mean? We as parents give our kids boundaries because we love them. God has given the do nots, the boundary because he loves us. And it’s interesting. I mean this doesn’t have to go this direction, but because I work for a church and you work for a church as well, at most churches, if you break any of the 10 commandments, you’re losing your job. If I murder somebody, if I commit adultery, things like that, chances are I’m going to lose my job. I have seen a lot of churches where if you forsake the Sabbath, you get a raise because you’re a hard worker, you’re a hustler, you’re dependable, you’re responsible, whatever it may be. And I’m just really grateful that the church that we get to be a part of, it’s not that.

David Blease (22:39):
Totally.

Matthew Hernandez (22:40):
Because I have worked at those places.

David Blease (22:42):
That’s so true. I mean it has to be the most overlooked command, right?

Matthew Hernandez (22:49):
I mean, I think so.

David Blease (22:51):
And you think about where it’s positioned in the 10 Commandments. The first three are about God, and then the latter are about our relationship with other humans. So the Sabbath is really the hinge point…

Matthew Hernandez (23:04):
And it’s actually the one that gets the most landscape in scripture. It has the most landscape in scripture with the 10 Commandments, which should mean something to us.

David Blease (23:15):
It totally means something. And like you said, we wouldn’t advocate because many Christians will say, and I’m sure you’ve heard this, you alluded to, well, that’s old covenant, that’s Old Testament. You know like, murder. That one’s under grace now, not under law. It’s like what other commandments do we advocate? Our Old Testament? I don’t think any of the 10 Commandments other than the Sabbath really gets relegated to this old covenant.

Matthew Hernandez (23:40):
And I wonder too if it’s because we saw Jesus break rules on Sabbath that sometimes we think we don’t need it anymore. Well, Jesus, this was a rule on Sabbath, but Jesus healed on the Sabbath and Jesus did this on the Sabbath. That’s good. And I think maybe that’s why I think sometimes people can negate the Sabbath because they read that and think that Jesus did as well when I think Jesus still upheld the value of Sabbath and was not making it about religion and about a law, but about a value of what rest looks like and what it looks like to see people and be present with people.

David Blease (24:14):
Totally. And to value life. And that’s something I think a lot of Christians don’t hold tension for, but in Judaism you can violate any command if it means to save a life. You look at Rahab, are there Jews here? Nope. Nope. She’s not getting struck down protecting life, and she’s protecting the life of the Israelites. So there’s so many nuances that Jesus uses. If your ox falls into a ditch, who’s not going to go and get it? I can’t heal someone on the Sabbath, but the Sabbath is made for man, not made for the Sabbath. But I think what we’re also encountering is likened to replacement theology, which is, well, Jesus fulfilled Israel, so he’s the complete fulfillment of Israel, and therefore Israel is no longer in the same way. I think people have this idea that, well, Jesus is my Sabbath. Have you encountered this?

Matthew Hernandez (25:08):
Yeah, yeah.

David Blease (25:10):
Jesus is my Sabbath, I don’t need to take a Sabbath. Jesus is my Sabbath.

(25:12):
Jesus is my Sabbath. Yeah, yeah. And we go back to the life issue where I’m like, do you have to keep a Sabbath? No, but how much life do you want? You know what I mean? I just think it’s give back to God’s, what God’s, I’ve seen it in both tithing and in Sabbath. God is going to give me this. I need to give back what belongs to him, whether it’s my time or my money. And I’ve seen the return every single time. So it’s like you can say, Jesus is my Sabbath. And I think it’s a really oversized way to get around it where you, because it’s hard, David, this, it’s hard to actually rest take off because we want to, I think it’s a control thing. Even when God gives the Israelites this idea of rest in the 10 Commandments, some of them couldn’t do it.

(26:03):
Yeah. They started getting more manna.

Matthew Hernandez (26:05):
For sure. They were like, they couldn’t trust that God was going to do what he said he was going to do or that God was going to be who he said was going to be. And so I’ve said this before, but I think the easiest thing about that was getting the Israelites side of Egypt. I think the hardest thing was getting the Egypt out of them.

David Blease (26:20):
Yeah, totally.

Matthew Hernandez (26:20):
They wanted, and I think if we are not careful, we still have a little bit of Egypt left in us, this need for control or this need to produce or this need to not be able to trust. And so I think our Sabbath is still getting some of that Egypt out of us.

David Blease (26:35):
I love that you brought up the tithe in juxtaposition to Sabbath because what I see that principle being is the upside down kingdom where Jesus says, if you want to be first, be the last. If you want to be the greatest, be the least. In the same way, our flesh says, I can do more with a hundred percent of my money than 90. I can do more with seven days a week than six. So it’s that same whether it’s Egypt or whether it’s just the flesh and the humanity in us that says, I can do more with more. And in God’s economy, which is this kind of backwards economy, he’ll actually bless 90 more than you could do with a hundred. And if you submit to God’s standard and cadence and law or whatever you want to use, then you can do more with six days a week than with him than seven by yourself. So there’s almost a test in it.

Matthew Hernandez (27:35):
Well, there’s a test in it, but also you look at what Silicon Valley’s doing right now and they’re cutting their work week shorter because they have found that actually if you take X amount of time for rest, you’re actually more productive in this amount of time. But I think it also, it’s a spiritual thing that they don’t even realize. And so I have seen the benefits in my own life. When I take that one day to rest, I don’t do it because it makes me more productive the other six days of the week. But it is the overflow, my Sabbath, my six days are sustained because of that one day. So yeah, I’ve seen that in my own life.

David Blease (28:16):
That’s so good. Well, and I don’t know how ritualistic you are with the Sabbath, but I know for us, McKayla lights, the candles, if we remembered to buy candles, we’ve got to prepare. Sometimes we had the battery charged ones and we’re like, oh, praise God. Which every Jewish person would be like, you’re literally breaking this. What are you doing? We’re going to flip this candle switch. But here’s what I can tell you just personally, when McKayla lights the candles every time it feels like my soul takes a breath. It’s so bizarre. And I think there’s something to physically doing something to usher in the Sabbath because it’s almost, it’s alarming your body and your soul to the fact that it started, we press the button, which is that preparation for the Sabbath and not retroactively having it. I’m like, oh yeah, that was my Sabbath. I know exactly when our Sabbath starts, when McKayla lights the candles and then she prays. I just feel literally a physical release of like, we’ve arrived.

Matthew Hernandez (29:27):
Yes. Yeah.

David Blease (29:27):
And I mean with our family too, we look forward to Friday. We know Friday night we’re off and Saturday morning we’re slow. We are spending time as a family.

Matthew Hernandez (29:40):
It’s like when you go to the movies, previews are great, but a lot of times you’re still going to the bathroom. You want to get that last minute snack, whatever it may be. But the moment previews are over and the movie starts like, okay, I’m settling in. And that’s what the lighting, the candles is for us as well, the marker. And I always say, you want to a marker of how you begin Sabbath and how you end Sabbath. You want to be intentional about both.

David Blease (30:02):
Yeah, that’s good.

Matthew Hernandez (30:03):
And so for us, we light the candles and before we light ‘em, Brit lights them and she will have all of us take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. And she’ll always say something along the lines of, I don’t know what year, week has looked like, but exhale that out because we’re about to inner rest. And so we start by lighting, we light the candles, and oftentimes the girls want to help her. So they will hold her hand as she’s lighting the candle. Parker, she’s 14 now, so sometimes she asks if she can be the one to light and we’ll let her. So…

David Blease (30:35):
I want to ask you some questions. These are questions that I’ve gotten about Sabbath because seasons change right now. I have young kids really easy to be like, lock the doors. We’re not going anywhere. Sabbath, it’s easier for us in our season. But now you’re going into teenagers, and I think a lot of people, and I’ve been asked this by people, how do you sabbath with teenagers? We have sports to go to and we have this to go to. So is that a sacrifice that you make or are we flexible with the day? How have you navigated different seasons now trying to keep this Sabbath in America? It’s not like Israel and Israel, everything shut, the country shuts down. So you’re weird. If you’re working, unless you’re in Tel Aviv, then you’re fine. But in America, everything is 24 7. So how have you navigated the different seasons?

Matthew Hernandez (31:23):
Yeah, what I love about Sabbath is what I like to say is it’s a practice. And so there’s no such thing as a perfect Sabbath. I think there is two perfect Sabbaths, one in the Garden of Eden when God created Sabbath. And the next one is when we get to be in heaven with our creator, everything else is just practice. And so these rhythms and these season changes, we are like a baby giraffe learning how to walk through them, if I’m honest. And I think it’s giving ourselves grace for the different seasons because right now, yeah, our kids are older. So Friday nights my oldest wants to go to football games, she wants to go with her friends, they want to go to the trampoline park, whatever it may be. So we’ve kind of said right now in our home, our kids are allowed to miss one Sabbath a month. So can, if they want to go out with their friends, they want to go to that football game, that’s totally fine, but that’s their Sabbath for the month that they’re going to miss. Now they are also in volleyball, soccer, cheerleading, all these things. Right now, Saturday mornings my son has soccer. And before it would actually frustrate me because I wanted to sleep in, I wanted to, we filter everything through the lens of what are we going to do on our Sabbath? Well, is it rest or is it worship? And if it’s not rest, if it’s not worship, we’re not going to do it. And Britt actually gave me just a really good perspective shift. She said that, Hey, Roman playing soccer or Sloan cheerleading that is rest or worship for them, they delight in this. And so my perspective was like, I want to delight in the things my kids delight in. And so I really do enjoy those early mornings Now when we do have them, whether it’s soccer or whether it’s cheerleading at football games or whatever it may be. So I think it’s looking at your season and also reevaluating what is rest and what is worship. And when your kids get older, we want our kids to delight in Sabbath. We want them to enjoy it. And so we want them to do the things that they enjoy on their Sabbath.

(33:15):
So it wasn’t what’s just rest for me, it’s also what’s rest for my family. And it’s hard. She went back to work, she’s a nurse now, a labor and delivery nurse, and we had went through a really busy busy season where she was working, she was doing night shifts. So oftentimes we were not doing the Sabbath and I felt it, and we had to reconvene a family meeting of we need this in our family. I felt like my family was getting off rhythm. I felt like we were getting out of whack. I felt tension in the home, honestly, because the Sabbath and Sabbath table, it really does center us. So we only really, this isn’t legalistic about it, but we only eat in our dining room table on Sabbath. We have a kitchen table that often we’ll eat at for family dinners, but for Sabbath, we eat it. We eat in our dining room and the kids call it the Sabbath table. And so I’m like, I miss it. The table is, I call it thin space. The first time I ever heard that I was actually in Ireland, and the pastor that I was with took us to this area and he said, we call this the thin space where the supernatural meets the natural.

(34:27):
The table is that for me, it’s where I encounter God the most. I feel like God meets me at the table and I look at scripture and how God has a disability of showing up at tables. Jesus when he’s with the disciples and he says, the next time you do this, do this in remembrance of me. That word remembrance can also be interchanged for awareness. So it’s like every time you gather at the table, be aware of my presence, be aware of what I’m doing, and we are so aware of God’s, his presence and what he’s doing in our life when we’re at our Sabbath table.

David Blease (35:01):
Yeah. That’s so good.

Matthew Hernandez (35:02):
So I would say for just whatever season you find yourself in, have grace for that season. Right now, I work every Saturday, so my Sabbath is cut a little bit short, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to forsake it. It means that it just cut a little bit short and then we end Sabbath together as a family by going to church together. That’s kind of our ending Sabbath. So it’s not sundown to sundown for us…

David Blease (35:27):
In this season.

Matthew Hernandez (35:29):
In this season, in this season, that’s not what it looks like. It’s usually whenever dinner’s ready, that’s when we start. Yeah, totally. And then we go to church together.

David Blease (35:38):
Yeah, that’s so good.

Matthew Hernandez (35:39):
I don’t remember the question. I’m not sure if I answered it.

David Blease (35:41):
No, totally. And I think what you did knowingly or unknowingly is you actually sanctified a space for holiness because it’s really interesting when you look at Genesis, Christians and Jews often read the same text completely differently, understandably. One of them is when you look at Genesis, Christians tend to see God creating this thing that was good, the earth, all of creation, and then it was corrupted by sin and good became corrupt, and God is coming to redeem what was corrupted and bring it back to good. The Jewish people tend to read that God created the land is good. And when he instituted the Sabbath, he created one thing that was holy, and everything kind of gets corrupted with sin and kind of entangled. But the flesh is still good, the land is still good, the world is still good. That’s why typically you don’t have Jewish people struggling with wine and indulging things that many Christians would say that’s indulging the flesh. We have this very Greek mentality that says flesh is bad, which our eternity will be void of flesh in all spirit. So you have to get this idea of heaven is this spiritual place and, I can’t wait to be in eternity in heaven. And you’re like, your eternity is on earth. What are you talking about? God’s redeeming the earth, new heaven’s into new earth, you’re going to have a body. A lot of Christians haven’t nuanced that or understood that.

Matthew Hernandez (37:23):
I can listen to you riff on that all day long. I love that so much.

David Blease (37:26):
Can’t wait to be a little angel of heaven. Will my dog go to heaven? He’s going to be on earth, the dog’s on earth with all the other animals. But yet it’s this idea that Christians have a very Greek mentality that we’re going to escape the flesh, which is why celibacy is not really a thing in the Jewish culture. Very rarely will you ever see in Jewish history celibacy, because celibacy is rooted in this idea that that’s my flesh wanting that. And the Jewish people are like, no, it’s not. That’s God’s desire that he put inside of you. And with the Sabbath. Therefore, the Jewish community has tend to look at the narrative of scripture and say, no, God’s moving from good to holy. And there’s a scripture in, I want to say it’s Ezekiel, where it talks about one day even the bells on the horses will be holy. And you’re like, what does that mean? I had a professor, Jen Rosner, one of my favorites, who said that basically means one day even your flip flops will be holy. So God’s plan is to make everything holy. But right now we only have a foretaste of it. There’s one day of the week, holy Israel was one of the nations. There’s lots of nations, they’re all good. Only one was holy. There’s lots of days. There’s only one that’s holy within Israel. Israel is this kind of set apart place, but there’s one place in Israel, Jerusalem that’s holy in Jerusalem. Lots of places are holy, but there’s a level of holiness in the temple. And then within the temple, you have varying degrees of holiness until you get to the holy of holy. So there’s this, what do you call that, a concentric circle of holiness. And the Sabbath is supposed to be set apart.

(39:18):
And that’s what I hear you saying. There’s this table that’s essentially set apart. And when you embrace that for something that is holy, it’s a visual and almost a visceral reminder. This day’s different. And I think that’s what was important to the Lord when he said, this day’s different. And he even gets into, there’s utensils that you couldn’t use because those were profane, which didn’t mean bad, it meant normal. Those are normal utensils. You can only use the holy ones here.

Matthew Hernandez (39:52):
And we do, I mean, not to that extent, but we do. We have certain dishes that we use on Sabbath. We have certain cups that we drink out of during Sabbath because I want our kids to know this day is different, this meal is different. We do family meals as often during the week as we can. We together as a family where there’s no phones at our table. All that’s intentional time. And we have intentional discussions that we’re having. But Sabbath is different. We’re bringing out these plates. We’re bringing out these cups. Sabbath day. There’s a certain candle and a certain scent that I light because I want our kids to come downstairs in the morning and think it smells like Sabbath. So it’s like it’s this specific candle, this specific scent.

David Blease (40:32):
I call that Matthew Hernandez intentionality.

Matthew Hernandez (40:36):
And I want them, if someday they’re out in the world, man, I’m going to get emotional talk about it. If they’re out in the world and they smell that, I want my kids to know whether they’re in college or they’re grown in their own families and it can remind them of Sabbath, I think I want to entertain all of their senses on Sabbath, and that day is intentional. We do different things where I’m blessing my kids and saying a prayer and a blessing over them on Sabbath. I’m saying a prayer and a blessing over my wife on Sabbath. I’m not doing that on Tuesday for Taco Tuesday, and I can, but that day is set apart for that.

David Blease (41:11):
Yeah, it sounds over spiritual, but that day is holy.

Matthew Hernandez (41:14):
That day is holy.

David Blease (41:15):
And what does holy mean set apart? It’s been set apart. That day’s different. That’s the unspiritual word. It’s different. I was reminded, we had a marriage group that we were a part of for I think three or four years total. And there was a night we talked about Sabbath. And I remember it was really easy for me as someone who worked basically nine to five job. I have so many stop gaps, if that’s the right word, in my routine that I can shut off so much. So I, I don’t know what iPhone this is, it’s not the new one, but when I got an upgraded iPhone, you can put work do not disturb personal sleep. I made one because you can add your own that Sabbath. And I got this cool little button so I can literally, I can press this and it goes to Sabbath mode. And Sabbath mode has—emails is off, Slack, which is our work communications, off. Instagram, all that goes away again. Could I violate it? Of course. But it’s a reminder to me when I see this background, because my background changes, which is just a picture of my wife. It reminds me when I see that Sabbath started, baby, we’re here and that’s all great. I love all that. You can steal any of it. But then I got a question from a wife and she said, well, how do I sabbath? I stay at home all day with the kids. And my Sabbath was like, I get to be with the kids and I get to just be with them and just breakfast, lunch, dinner. And she’s like, that’s my work, essentially. So she was like, so how do I sabbath? And I was kind of like, and I felt like the Holy Spirit in that moment just gave me a response. And I said, well, we don’t sabbath from our kids. We Sabbath with our kids. And so again, there’s details and nuances, we can go into that. But it was this perspective shift because for a moment I started thinking, how can she sabbath away from her kids? Maybe she needs to do a nail salon day. Maybe she needs to do X, Y, Z. But then I remember you go to Israel, the Sabbath is for the family and it’s to honor the wife more than anything. The wife is the one where the husband’s supposed to take the kids and do puzzles. And so the mom, she can make bread in peace and have time alone. And again, I know it’s different for everybody because maybe you do need a nail salon day and you need to go around, that’s great. But it was this idea of no, no, no Sabbath. We don’t sabbath away from our family. Because I think the American mentality can sometimes be, if I’m going to be away, if I’m going to rest, then I need to get out of here. And it’s like, no, no, no. That’s the time to lean in, not lean out. I dunno if you’ve experienced that as family.

Matthew Hernandez (44:11):
Yes. Well, I mean, even when we first started practicing Sabbath, we started practicing Sabbath in November. Roman was born in December. So Roman doesn’t know a world without Sabbath. My girls were young, so Parker can maybe remember. But when we started practicing Sabbath, we’re dealing with a newborn and young kids. And so we had to figure out what that looked like for us. So not only have we had those questions, we have lived this and experienced this. And so as we have been in this rhythm, we’ve just tried to figure out things that work for us. Ronald Rolheiser wrote a book called The Domestic Monastery that’s really beautiful. And I always recommend it to people with young kids because oftentimes moms especially, they don’t get a break from kids and from being present with the kids and doing all the things,

David Blease (44:57):
Being pulled on every five seconds

Matthew Hernandez (44:59):
For sure. And their quiet time looks different. I remember when our kids were young, Brittany didn’t have time to read the scripture. She used to.

David Blease (45:05):
You can’t soak as a college kid.

Matthew Hernandez (45:07):
For sure. You just can’t do it. So it look different. And he frames it in a sense of when your patience wears thin or you feel something rise up and that’s irritating you, that’s your prayer point and that’s your devotion for the day. What I’m really impatient with this or whatever it may be, and just reframing mean how you’re looking at being present with your kids in your home, this domestic monastery that you can create a sanctuary in your home by inviting the spirit to be in when you’re losing your patients with your kids or when you just need a break, whatever it may be.

David Blease (45:40):
That’s good.

Matthew Hernandez (45:40):
So for us with young kids, and this is a privilege response, I understand that, but we would find even separate toys that our kids could play with only on Sabbath. So it was a Sabbath box, so it would entertain them for a couple hours. Mom can get a little bit of a break because they’re not climbing all over her because they had this specific toy or doll or whatever it may be that’s going to entertain them for this couple hours or an hour at least. If Brit wanted to go get brunch with a friend on the Sabbath, she could do that and then she would come back home. Or if I could just be present with the kids, well, she slept in Sabbath was a day that Brit could sleep in. And I would get up early with the kids. So when the kids were up, I was up. That way she could sleep in because I could sleep in on a Friday, which was my day off. So it’s just also just trying to figure out what works for you guys.

David Blease (46:29):
That’s so good. Well, and I see yourself, or I see what you’re doing is giving people lots of different things that they could do because thought intentionally about this for years and had to shift and had to change. We’re not saying you have to do this this way, but there is a cadence, there’s a rhythm that the Lord’s trying to set. And I think, like you said, we’re seeing in Silicon Valley or even in this next generation, and I think in my generation, we realize how addicted we are to our phone.

Matthew Hernandez (46:56):
Oh gosh, yeah.

David Blease (46:56):
I read this post the other day and it was like, can you believe that somewhere out there right now, some rando with no phone is just chilling in a waterfall. No idea how stressed he should be right now.

Matthew Hernandez (47:10):
Oh, my God.

David Blease (47:11):
Some loser without a phone. Just having totally being in the moment has no idea how scared he should be politically. And you’re like, oh yeah, that’s probably how we should live. Especially on the Sabbath.

Matthew Hernandez (47:24):
Listen, our souls, were not meant to carry the weight of the world like they are now. We have access to everything. I have access to what’s going on around the world. Our souls weren’t meant to carry that, and it’s damaging to our souls. So that’s why I’m like, man, be away from your phone. The phone isn’t the problem. And I always like to say this, I have, I think the newest iPhone, I love the technology that comes with it. I love that it can keep me in touch with people from all over the world, but it also has the ability to distract me from the person right in front of me.

David Blease (47:55):
Totally.

Matthew Hernandez (47:56):
It has the ability for me to lose the art of eye contact. And so it’s not even so much about when is your phone on and when is your phone off? The deeper more spiritual question is, when are you on and when are you off?

David Blease (48:06):
That’s so good.

Matthew Hernandez (48:07):
And so that’s, my phone doesn’t own me. I own my phone. But there are many people who live their life and their phone owns them or their calendar owns them instead of the other way around.

David Blease (48:17):
That’s so good. And that’s an intentionality thing we will get on by our calendar if we don’t in intentionally set boundaries or perimeters or anything like that. In the same way your seven day week is going to own you if you don’t intentionally.

Matthew Hernandez (48:32):
I have to own that week. And I know that we probably want to begin wrapping up here soon, but one of the things that I always like to say about me as a father where I love sath, then me as a husband, is I shared this moment of us, our family, around the table. And it’s these moments that I get to bless my kids and I get to bless my wife and pray over them. And I think I’ve shared this with you before, but no matter what my kids’ week has looked like, I got a call from my kids’ teacher yesterday that something happened in school. She had to correct him three times. And because of this, he had to sit out. And so he came home from school really embarrassed and kind of full of shame. And so if my kids have had a really great week or maybe not so great of a week, maybe they’ve lost screen time or they’ve lost their phone privileges or whatever it may be, or they’ve been really kind to their siblings and have shown grace and generosity to them, whatever it looks like. They know that every Friday, regardless of what their week has looked like, they’re getting a blessing from dad.

(49:31):
Dad’s going to pray over them. I’m going to speak life over them regardless of what their day or week has looked like. My kids, especially in this busy season when my wife and I, we are go go during the week and sometimes we miss each other. There was times where I’m pulling in from work and I’m high fiving and giving a kiss to my wife and she’s driving to work. So because of that, tensions can kind of run high. We can miss each other. We can be short with one another, and my kids feel that they can feel something’s off with mom and dad or as we’re getting ready for, we don’t have a big home. So as we’re getting ready for Sabbath, we’re bumping into each other and maybe Brit and I are short. Our kids feel it. And they can also feel when I’m speaking a blessing over Brittany or I’m praying over her, they feel the tension that they felt between us before they feel it go away. So once a week they see reconciliation happening. They know whatever mom and dad are feeling. That melts away the moment I see Dad pray and bless my mom.

(50:26):
So the Sabbath, Jesus healed a lot on the Sabbath and in scripture. And what I’ve seen in my own life is Jesus has healed me, my family and my marriage because of Sabbath.

David Blease (50:39):
Yeah.

Matthew Hernandez (50:41):
Yeah.

David Blease (50:41):
That’s so good. Well, I’d love for you to pray for us and pray for everyone listening. This might stir up motivation to be more intentional about, okay, well Friday’s coming up and how do I want to change or prepare for that day. But before you pray, any other practical resources that you’ve benefited from over the years? You mentioned John Mark Comer book.

Matthew Hernandez (51:08):
Yeah, John Mark Comer, Garden City. He also wrote The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, Domestic Monastery, especially for young parents. I really like that. John Mark Comer also has nonprofit called Practicing the Way where he has a whole Sabbath practice where he breaks that down. Abram Hessel has a book called The Sabbath. That was my first book that I read. That’s just a beautiful book that I really enjoy.

David Blease (51:36):
We can put those resources in the show notes also. I’ll add one that’s not a resource, it’s just a tool. It’s called The Brick. Have you seen that? No. It might just be called Brick, but it’s a little plastic.

Matthew Hernandez (51:48):
Oh yes, I know exactly. Yes. This is great.

David Blease (51:49):
So we have it on our coffee maker. I have one in my office and pre-select what apps you don’t want to work. So I brick it, I put my phone against it and it bricks my phone. And then if I am out and about and I hit Instagram, it says, this is a distraction. And if I really want to go on Instagram, I can go unb brick my phone. But that 20 step walk to the coffee maker to un brick my phone makes me realize, do I really need to go on Instagram right now? I really, yeah, it’s kind of this mentality of Netflix episodes over new episode in 3, 2, 1, and it’s like you’re like, might as well do one more. Right? Yeah. But imagine that it was episodes over 3, 2, 1 TV’s off, and you can’t use the remote. You have to walk up and turn the TV back on. You’d be like, you got to go to bed. What are we doing here? And so it’s that again, that kind of barrier to help people, especially those who feel like my phone does own me, or I am too much on technology. I think it’s like $50. So that could be a helpful tool as well.

Matthew Hernandez (52:59):
Yeah, that’s a great tool.

David Blease (53:00):
Will you pray for us?

Matthew Hernandez (53:00):
I will, man. Thank you. I’m going to pray right now, but also, I’m so grateful for this podcast and what you’re doing with this podcast. Thank you. And having conversations. I think the conversations are a wrestle. And I think we as human beings, we wrestle with God on a regular basis and I think we’re supposed to, and it’s not black and white. A lot of it is gray and the wrestle is gray. Totally. And so what you’re doing with this podcast is facilitating conversations to help us wrestle well. And so I’m really grateful. And so I’m just hoping that throughout the conversations and throughout whoever’s sitting in these chairs and whoever’s watching online, they can wrestle and they can say, maybe I’m open handed with whatever perspective I have that maybe God is doing something new here. And we can live that way with open hands. We can’t do that when we’re holding onto whatever perspective we have with the closed fist.

David Blease (53:47):
So true.

Matthew Hernandez (53:48):
And so, man, I’m really grateful for the work you’re doing, man. I love you and appreciate you. I receive that Love you too. Lemme pray. Spirit of God, I just thank you that you are a God who, you’re a God of rest, but you’re a God who desires rest for your children, for your sons, and for your daughters. So I just thank you for this conversation, spirit of God, I thank you that you took this space between us, between David and I here on these chairs and those that are watched online. And God, I pray that you continue to fill it, be present with us. God. God, I thank you that you have given Sabbath as a gift to us to remind us that we are human beings and not human doings. God may on this Sabbath that we enter in God, may we just be at so at rest and so at peace with who you are and what you’re doing and the ongoing creation of the world, may it remind us that there is a God and that you are God.

(54:40):
And we are not you. We are not Him. God, we are not in control. May we let go of this illusion of control. And God, as we enter into Sabbath, as we step into Sabbath, as we step into this rhythm, maybe for the first time over the first time in a long time, God, may we feel your breath upon it. God, we thank you that you have blessed it and that you have called it holy. So as we set this day apart, God, may we meet with you and may you meet with us. God, I thank you for what you’re doing in our lives and what you want to continue to do in our lives. God, I pray that you continue to bless us and keep us. God, may you shine your face upon us, God, in May we feel your presence every single place we go. And it’s in your name we pray. Amen.

David Blease (55:23):
Amen. Beautiful.